The Rebound

Lets be honest I think we all knew you were a little bit of a man whore when we met. At least at college age. You were pretty cute though, not that you need any more compliments. You were on your way to med school and fit all the bad boy requirements. You had the dimples, the motorcycle, and all the right moves. It was enough for me to over look the obvious sentiment that you would cheat on me eventually. I have to say I need to apologize to all the nice boys but when someone is as emotionally screwed up as I was I needed someone like you. I tried so hard to make us perfect. I even went camping with you in November! It was so cold. I drove all the way up to meet you. We packed everything up except as we soon discovered condoms.  We stopped at the last convenience store in the middle of no where. You told me to come in with you and I of course did as you had me under your finger. The store was disgusting looking. I think you described it as looking like a large outhouse. The man inside had such a strong accent I could barely understand him or the five people around him discussing what I believe was the best place to get your deer processed. You walked right in between them to the register with 2 packs of condoms and then turned to me(at this point I was across the store) and said, "hey you think this is enough?" Since I was raised in a good catholic home I blushed tried to pretend you were talking to someone else and got out of there. That night may have been even funnier. You forgot the sleeping bags and discovered that sex on gravel even on a tent floor was extremely painful. I still think we should have just gone to that redneck bar and had some whiskey with the locals. Then I left to take a shower. This actually meant I needed to drive around in the heat of  my car but I did not want you to think i had copped out since we were always competitive. You were supposed to be cooking dinner over the fire. This was a skill you had greatly bragged about however, I received a phone call 15 minutes into my drive saying the food was raw. I ended up back at the "outhouse" they called a store wearing my after sex clothes--a t-shirt that at the time I did not realize clearly showed all of my assets. I bought a honey bun and beer. The beer I refused to share with you in fact I stayed outside in the rain with an umbrella drinking it before entering the tent. I think that night when it was freezing without any sleeping bags and rain coming in our tent we should have realized we were a terrible couple. I have to thank you though because you magically helped me break out of my stepford wife "robo" me as you so lovingly deemed. Also making me realize the significance of sleeping bags.